Before my mom died, when she was very sick, I promised her I would take care of her cat, DJ. She loved this cat more than anything. My brother and I used to joke that she loved the cat more than she loved us. So the time came when DJ became my responsibility. DJ is neurotic in the literal sense. She's high strung and hisses and growls about 100 times a day. She was one of those pets who only loved her master, (and she is a pet only her master could love!). In the absence of my mother she has been thrown into a world of stress. She HATES my cat, (who is her half sister) and she only will begrudgingly let me pet her for a moment or two before she is done with me too. It has taken me a very long time to get her acclimated here.
My mother never had DJ spayed, so great was her love for this animal, she was dreadfully afraid of anything happening to her under the anesthesia (!!!). Naturally I had this done as soon as she became my cat. It was not a simple operation anymore because by this time DJ was about 11 years old. The vet found a golf ball sized tumor on one of her ovaries, the biggest one he'd ever seen, he said. It was just in time. I was hoping that after the surgery she would calm down and mellow out. Without the hormones coursing through her body and without going into heat every few months, she'd become calm and happy. Nope. She didn't change at all, her hair just got longer and thicker. She was still the same old head case of a cat. Neurotic to the core.
About a month ago she started to cough. It was a rough cough, and didn't go away, so this morning I finally got her to the vet. They examined her and took X-rays of her chest. The vet came back with the initial diagnosis of lung cancer. I was stunned.
Thank God my poor mama wasn't here to get that news, it would have killed her. She was so emotional when it came to the family pets. I am too, but she really loved this cat. DJ was her baby. Part of the family. I was just in shock. I expected a simple cold and some kitty antibiotics, and yet here was this nasty news. No. Not another thing. Not one more. They say God only gives you what you can handle, and if that is so, I wonder what He's doing to me because I just can't take anymore bad news. I can't. I didn't realize how much I cared for DJ. This rotten hissing unfortunate beast of a cat... and yet I love her. I love her because she was my mom's favorite thing. And now, in the face of losing her, I am reminded again how much my mom isn't here, she's not coming back and the things she loved and that touched her are slowly disappearing too. It's another broken link to the time when I could still talk to her, hug her, call out "mom". This news today knocked me down.
Poor DJ.
I'm hoping it will turn out to not be cancer, but it doesn't look good. If it is she will only have a couple of months at best. I will be so very sad to see her go. I hate the thought of it so much! And here it is, time for me to move out of my beloved home... there is a chance I'll be floating around for a month or two while I am in between houses. This is not a good scenario with an aging sick cat with cancer! I am so afraid of what the next few months will bring! What will I DO if I do not have a new home come August 1st????
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