I love you, Mom

Today is Mother's Day. I got up this morning and went to church with my brother, which proved to be the best way to honor my mom's memory. I wasn't sure what to expect from this day, this day of Moms and every thing Mom-Like Every Where In Your Face. I tried to be strong. Mainly what I noticed most this afternoon was the silence. It's just so quiet without her here. The phone rang and I actually expected it to be her. That hasn't happened in a while. I looked up at the sky and said, "Mom, I love you. I miss you so much." There's no way of knowing if she could ever hear me. My gut says no. She's just gone. I also realized that I do not have a single female family member alive. Wow. That's kind of amazing and so very sad. I wish I had a sister or an aunt or my dear Grandma...
I'm getting ready for work, bracing myself against the barrage of happy families I am going to have to face, bringing their moms out to eat, celebrating them. I'm trying to be strong. I know I am loved. But this hurts.