Today I was again reminded of my shortage of family when I was filling out my passport papers. I had to list a person for the in case of emergency category. My brain swirled a little while a Rolodex list of my closest friends flashed by. It certainly would not be my brother! Who should I choose? Erin? Cherie? I finally decided on Kelly. She's the most level-headed-get-things-done person I know. She would always come to my rescue, and fast. I know that I will know her for the rest of my life and that there will be no falling outs or risks. It was still a weird feeling. Choosing someone who is not a blood relative to be your emergency person. I had been going on with my morning without thinking of it. Again, I was reminded. I promised myself I would stop writing blogs about my mom and how much I miss her. I fear I'll lose all 3 of my readers! But then I realized that this is my reality right now. This is what I'm going through and feeling, so I will write about it a little, a long with the other things that occupy my journal space. Some blogs I write hoping that my friends will read them, some I write just to get it out. This blog is the latter.
I've been giving some thought to decision making. I believe you can decide to be happy. I think some people do. I think some people have abhorrent circumstances, way worse than anything I've gone through and they still choose to make the best of them. They strive for happiness. I was born to hold my head high, and I will. It's just not always that easy. I'm looking forward to some changes soon.
And speaking of change, if anyone out there is reading this, I am looking for a new job. Seriously. I would prefer a job at the university, and I'm looking into it, but if I have to wait tables for even six months longer, I may just climb the roof of the post office and start picking people off with some sort of automatic weapon! I need a position that pays well, and if you are reading this, you probably know me and my skills and my ability to learn new things. I'm just putting the feelers out. Can't hurt...
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